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One of the top 0.00001% growth hackers in the world
About Kale Abe Consulting
About Kale Abe Consulting
Built on Results. Backed by Receipts.
Let’s skip the fluff.
I’m Kale Abrahamson, and this isn’t some fake guru pitch. I’m not here to sell you a dream — I’m here to sell you execution. For $20K, you’ll get direct, one-on-one Slack access to me. No Zoom calls. No hand-holding. Just raw, unfiltered advice from someone who’s actually done the damn thing.
Why should you trust me with your business?
Because I’ve built multiple 7- and 8-figure businesses — and I don’t mean selling courses about making money. I mean real offers, real products, and real revenue.
Here's the resume:
💰 $50M+ in eCom and SaaS sales — from bootstrapped Amazon brands to consulting empires.
📈 $30M+ in ad spend managed — I don’t guess, I optimize.
🚀 NFT launch that did $9.2M in 51 minutes — no hype, just execution.
📱 Scaled a consumer app to $1.5M+ MRR — and doing it again with an even sexier one.
🧠 Helped friends and clients hit $30K+ days out of nowhere — like my wife, a pharmacist-turned-coach, who closed $30K in a single day with zero prior business experience.
🛥️ Paid for yachts, penthouses, and supercars with the profits — not with “influencer deals.”
This isn’t theoretical. This isn’t fluff. It’s just hard-earned leverage, and now I’m using it to help a few smart operators scale fast.
So what is Kale Abe Consulting?
It’s Slack-based consulting with one goal:
👉 Help you find the 1% of decisions that change everything in your business.
Most people do 99 things right and still lose. Why? Because they miss the one leverage point that actually moves the needle. I’ve made enough of those decisions — the hard way — to spot them instantly in other people’s businesses.
You bring:
A working product or offer
Proof of concept
A desire to scale
I bring:
Years of tested, real-world strategy
Daily Slack access
Video breakdowns, funnel overhauls, ad strategies, and zero B.S.
And if I can’t make you more than the $20K you paid me?
You get a refund. Full stop.
“This whole idea was my wife’s. I didn’t even want to sell consulting again. But after watching client after client scale to six figures and beyond… it felt criminal not to offer this.”
So yeah — it’s $20K.
And I’m only taking 25 clients, just long enough to buy a Ferrari Purosangue.
If you’re still reading, you’re probably not broke — and we’ll probably work well together.
Let’s go.
Here's Some nice things people have Said About Kale :)
Joseph & Robyn Crisp - Founders - Huntsman Transport
"Kale has been an investor, friend, and advisor for close to 2 years now. It's not an exaggeration to say we would not have a company without Kale's help. We are super excited for the future of this company and changing many lives by employing Veterans around the country."
Joseph & Robyn Crisp - Founders - Huntsman Transport
James & Justin - Founders -Dartee Golf
"Kale has been an amazing consultant for us for years. He's the best to bounce ideas off of because he gets right to the heart of the matter and tells us stuff that actually WORKS. We have scaled our paid ads exponentially since meeting him. We are good friends to this day!"
James & Justin - Founders -Dartee Golf
Alyssa B - Founder - Pittsburgh, PA
"My business had no momentum before working with Kale and Sam, felt like we were stuck in the mud. Now, things are moving along nicely. I have already seen a boost in sales and we just started recently. 10/10 would recommend to anyone.
Alyssa B - Founder - Pittsburgh, PA
